Married For the Long Haul

Married For the Long Haul

Before we get started let us pray:

Loving heavenly Father we come to you this hour asking for your blessing and help as we are gathered together. We pray for guidance in the matters at hand and ask that you would clearly show us how to conduct our work with a spirit of joy and enthusiasm. Give us the desire to find ways to excel in our work. Help us to work together and encourage each other to excellence. We ask that we would challenge each other to reach higher and farther to be the best we can be. We ask this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen 

Today we attempt to answer the question if DIVORCE is ever acceptable to God.  Is there ever a reason to divorce and what are the reasons? 

v I was once married.  In 1983 the secular courts divorced us.  I never remarried because I had taken an oath to God that I would marry only once.  I took my pledge to God seriously and did not consider myself as divorced in the eyes of the Lord but I do consider myself divorced in the eyes of man.  God would have granted me to marry again because my wife has married another man, thus guilty of adultery. 

Ø Matt 5:32; 19:9

Ø You can get a court to call you divorced, you can call yourself divorced, but in God’s eyes a couple is only truly “unbound” by two things: death or adultery. Consequently, if a “divorced” person gets remarried, the Bible calls that adultery. 

v “Marriage is not a human invention, it is the creation of God; it did not originate in the mind of man, but in the mind of God. This being the case, man cannot change the definition or purpose of marriage to suit him. The redefinition of marriage is the negation of marriage.” 

v Your wedding vows included some version of this pledge made to your partner and God:  Minister: (First to the groom then to bride) “wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking others, keep thee only unto her, so long as you both shall live?”  After which you all said “I do.” 

v Soon after the ceremony, the pledge made to God is forgotten.  What remains is the secular definition marriage and they are bound to, legality.  There are more reasons people use to divorce than to stay together.  Some of the reasons are bored, no longer in love, drifted apart, etc.  In addition, the Bible’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, while encouraging marriage mates to stay together, allow for separation. Some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage, feel they have no choice but to separate. What can be acceptable Scriptural grounds for such a step? 

v One is willful nonsupport. When getting married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of life “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible. 

v Another is willful nonsupport, emphasis on willful. When getting married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of life “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible. 

v  Another is extreme physical abuse. So then, if a mate physically abuses his wife, the victim may separate. (Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7)

v Another ground for separation is the absolute endangerment of a believer’s spirituality, one’s relationship with God. When a mate’s opposition, perhaps including physical restraint, has made it impossible to pursue true worship and has imperiled the believer’s spirituality, then some believers have found it necessary to separate. Matthew 22:37; Acts 5:27-32.

v  However, if divorce is pursued under such circumstances, one would not be free to enter a new marriage. According to the Bible, the only legitimate ground for divorce that permits remarriage is adultery or “fornication.” Matthew 5:32.

v  The Bible allows only one reason for getting a divorce that frees a person to remarry, and that is fornication, gross sexual immorality). If fornication is committed (extra marital sex), then the innocent mate may decide whether to get a divorce or not. Matthew 5:32. 

v  After telling the Pharisees that the Mosaic concession of divorcing their wives was not the arrangement that had prevailed “from the beginning,” Jesus said: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another has committed adultery.”

v “It is clear that divorce is like a person cutting off an arm or leg because he has a splinter in it. Instead of dealing with whatever trouble arises between a husband and wife, divorce tries to solve the problem by destroying the union. On a deeper level, divorce destroys a union that God Himself has made. That is why Jesus said unequivocally, “What therefore God has joined together let no man separate” (Matt. 19: 6). The union of marriage is one which God, as its Creator, never desires to be broken. Divorce is a denial of His will and a destruction of His work.

 

Ø ‘To paraphrase (Jer. 16: 12; Luke. 12: 1; Rom. 12: 18; 14: 19; 1 Cor. 7: 12-16; Ephesians. 4: 3; 6: 4; 1; 1 Tim. 4: 12; Heb. 12: 25.

Ø It is not good for the children to have to live in a home with so much conflict, hatred, and disharmony’).

 

v Many divorcing Christians use these passages to justify that it is better for the children of an unhappy couple to divorce than to raise their children in the atmosphere of an unhappy marriage.

 

v “In hard, cold reality, a person rarely seeks divorce for the well-being of the children. What is distressing about this myth is not so much the fallacy of it as its blatant hypocrisy. If people were really concerned for the well-being of their children, I would think they would move heaven and earth to transcend their false dilemma and move in the direction of responsible parenthood. With the use of this myth as a justification for divorce, humankind exposes its capacity for calling good evil and evil good. Here an act of selfishness is painted or portrayed as a noble act of self-sacrifice for the good of the children.”

 

v “Marriage is not a mere civil thing, but is partly spiritual and divine, and therefore God alone has the power to appoint the beginning, the continuance, and the end thereof.”

 

v “In every marriage that ends in disaster, some stupid decisions were made with respect to God’s regulations. If God’s regulations were followed diligently, thoroughly, and extremely attentive to details, not only would there be no divorces; there would be no unhappy marriages. To violate the regulations of God is not only an exercise in disobedience but also an exercise in foolishness. If you want a happy marriage, the most intelligent thing you can do is to submit to God’s regulations. They are designed to promote and protect your full happiness.”

 

§  Luke 16: 18

Ø “For example, a man who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery. And anyone who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.” 

 

Ø I can’t stress this enough! Extra marital sex.  Not irreconcilable differences, grew apart, no longer in love.  These are not anything that God would view as reasons for divorce reasons.  

Ø In many countries, divorce is not difficult to obtain, but in the eyes of a Christian, the marriage relationship is sacred. It is ended only for a very serious reason. (Matt. 19:9) Christian spouses can avail themselves of wise counsel from the Bible, support from fellow Christians, and a close, prayerful relationship with God. A successful marriage endures, and over the years, it brings happiness and contentment to husband and wife. More important, it brings honor to God, the Originator of marriage. 

 

v One final thought: The marriage vows;  you either already took or will take this vow in the future something similar:

I, [bride’s/groom’s name], take thee, [bride’s/groom’s name]to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto do I give thee my pledge.

v Don’t take these vows lightly.  Be sure you can live up to your vows.

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father as we come to the end of our time together we thank you for what has been accomplished here today. May the matters discussed serve as a catalyst to move us forward and cause us to advance and see growth in all areas of our lives. May we leave here recognizing You are the God of all wisdom and You are willing to lead us forward. This we pray in the name of the Lord Jesus. Amen

 

God Bless