Road Rage

Road Rage

A recent study in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that some adults with ADHD aren’t skilled at reining in their emotions. This means that you may have really poor impulse control and can quickly become angry, frustrated, and impatient because of minor delays or annoyances. If you frequently find yourself pounding the steering wheel or screaming at the driver in front of you, adult ADHD    www.everydayhealth.com Instead of getting angry, you should learn to harness your rage and redirect it to prayer to avoid falling in the pitfalls of rage.  If you are unfamiliar on how to compose your own prayer, say any prayer you know like the Lord’s Prayer, A prayer to Saint Michael, or even:

“Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

If I shall die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.” Amen.

 

This prayer is obviously a prayer that children recite at bedtime but it does make a connection to God.  And, although this does not address your issues, it does open up a dialogue with God.  The more you speak with God the better you will be at it and the better you get at it the more bountiful spirit you’ll have and the more bountiful your spirit you have the better your life will be.  Don’t mix up a better life and monetary riches.

Prayer is the best suit of armor against all trials. Learn to identify the feelings of rage.  Once identified when you start feeling angry, learn to focus that energy back to God and ask for deliverance from the rage.  If you do, you will see how quickly the rage is eased and won’t escalate out of control.   Prayer is the best suit of armor against the things that we all go through on a daily basis in our lives because it is not just asking for what we desire, but when we pray we obtain closeness with God that we wouldn't be otherwise able to obtain. When we pray and when we really believe in the things that we pray; we establish a rapport with God that symbolizes us giving away our weaknesses, and taking in his strength to cover where we may lack.  It is much better to offer a pray to God then spout profanity at the world.  The prayer doesn’t have to be filled with thee and thou, hath and hither as long as you offer up some heart-felt words to God.

 

A woman was out driving when she stalled at a red light.   Hard though she tried, she was unable to restart the engine and soon a long line began to form. The male driver immediately behind her was particularly impatient, honking his horn continuously.   Finally she got out, went up to the driver behind and said: "I can't seem to get my car started. Would you be a sweetheart and see if you can get it started for me? I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you!"

 

A real story; 3 vehicles are traveling one behind the other on a two lane road, one lane for each direction.  I will name these drivers as A, B, and C.  A little back story; A lost his job today, B was notified his identity was stolen, and C had been thrown out of the house. The first 2 cars (A & B) are driving 5 miles per hour under the posted speed limit.  Car C is in an obviously rushed mood.  He drives right up to car B’s bumper, blaring on his horn, flashing his lights, and can be seen mouthing rants.  Car A & B have no way to pull over, this country road has no turn outs.  Passing the car in front is out of the question, the road has double lines. B can see that C is getting angrier at each second.  Finally there is a place to pass both cars and C took it.  As C was beside B, C flashes a hand gesture and screaming something at B.   B said a little prayer as C swerved in an attempt to intimidate. C did the same to A as he tried to pass him.  The classic hand gesture, profane words and swerves at A.  Well now A was not going to take that so he sped up,   returned the gesture, and screamed back.  This went on until both cars rounded a corner and out of sight.  I bet you can guess what happened….Think about it….you probably think that the cars A and C crashed into each other.  Well you’re wrong…they hit a semi and both died… B could have bought in to the rage but he knows how to center himself with a deep breath and a prayer he recites to himself.  Too bad that more people wouldn’t take a second and step back to cool off. 

 

Statistics tell us that most all of us have been involved in an aggressive driving experience either as the victim or the aggressor at some point in our lives.

Aggressive driving and road rage is on the rise and according to the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety it is one, if not the top concern for many drivers today. AAA reported that, "at least 1,500 people a year are seriously injured or killed in senseless traffic disputes."

 

There are many more forms of rage, away from the road, that are just as dangerous.  Rage is triggered when we are negatively challenged by the unknown, limited by ego, and striking out in fear.  The perfect time to say a small prayer would be when we are faced with a challenge, it would still be good to pray when your ego starts to inflate, and it can still work when you are striking out in fear although you may have some mending to do if you wait this long.  You may be saying to yourself, “Dang, I don’t have that much time to say a prayer every time someone throws something at me”.  Prayers can be short and said internally.  Let me show you one:

“Dear Lord, I do not pray for an easy life, I pray for the strength to endure the one you blessed me with.  Amen” 

Now I just said this in my head and it took only 3 seconds.  As I was reciting this, I also took a deep breath. 

We all have things in our lives that challenges us like,… having problems with a teen.  We need to take a deep breath say a quick prayer and calmly guide your teen.  Rage is not the way to guide the child, yet many parents lose sight and scream at their teen then wonder why the teen never listens.  HINT:  The louder you yell, the less they hear.  A good prayer when you have more time (like 10 seconds) you can say this prayer:

 

Lord Jesus, there is anger in my heart and I cannot root it out.
I know that I should calm down and offer the hurt and disappointment to You
but my emotion is running away with me.
Help me to overcome this weakness and give me peace of heart as well as mind.
Let me learn from this experience and grow into a better human being. Amen.

 

And if you aren’t the kind of person who drops a prayer at all life’s challenges then I say to you, take a deep breath, hold, and let it out slowly while thinking about Jesus.  This won’t make your teen behave, after all teens will be teens, but it will calm you down and make it is easier to parent the teen or whoever; calmly, thoughtfully, and free of ulcers.  Try it…it will work.   If you give in to the rage then the rage takes you over it.

 

Let me show you what I mean.

 

You leave the house, still fuming from the run in with your teen. Here is the good time to take a few seconds and recite a personal prayer.  Don’t worry about a structured prayer as long as you take a beat and offer up your heart to God.  But eh you decide to just head out for work.  The teen gave you such angst; you didn’t set aside a couple of moments to say a little prayer for all that you have in your life and calm yourself. 

On the drive in there seemed to be one slow-poke after another.  You blew your horn and got more worked up with every “idiot” you saw.  Work was no better.  You had one “stupid” person after another. Now you can’t take a lunch break?  Too much work to do and the boss wanted it like yesterday.  The afternoon wasn’t any better and now you have to work late again.  You already know there will be a big argument when you get home.  Of course it seems like all the idiots you had to suffer on the way in to work were waiting for you to make your drive home as stressful as the drive in was.  You pull in to your driveway and run over one of the kids’ new bike.  Great, another scratch on your car.  Those little brats need to be punished so they will never leave bikes in the driveway, again.  Boy will they get it and you will be taking their allowance to pay to buff the scratches out of the finish.  You come in the house ranting and raving, you forgot to say that little prayer first and detox.  The spouse is yelling at you because you are late again and didn’t call.  Your dinner is dried out and ruined.  Now you are really worked up and still haven’t said a little prayer and a deep breath to let go of the stress.  You walk in.  The kids are hitting each other and screaming. You start yelling at the kids for fighting each other and for leaving their bike in the driveway.  You make a move to slap the children but the spouse steps in and takes the hit.  More screaming and yelling at everyone to everyone, you can’t understand why everyone is ganging up on you, after all shouldn’t everyone see the bad day you’ve had?  You should be treated like royalty for everything you do except you are treated like the advancing enemy.  In the fury of the moment you are thrown out of the house. Oh great, the universe is still against you.  You throw some clothes into the car and scream out of the driveway.  Still you haven’t gathered yourself in prayer and took a breath. Wouldn’t you know; you end up behind two slow-pokes. More stress!

 

Another example:  

 

You have had a rough week.  Nothing was done right.  Everything you touch had to be done again. The office had been in a tizzy all week.  The company was sold and the new owners were watching everyone.  Just the extra tension you didn’t need but you keep telling yourself that they need you and your knowledge, even with all your mistakes.  After all, you have worked there for 8 years.  Your on-the-job experience is invaluable.  Still you have stress because in the back of your mind you know that no one can ever be safe.  The old owner had assured everyone that the new owners had to keep all the employees for 3 months at the least.  The sale is official the next day.  One of the new owners takes you aside and picks your brain for what may be the problems.  He sounds and looks happy with you.   You feel safe for now.  Your stress level is still elevated so when one of the employees you supervise has a major screw up, you yell, rant, and rave.  It was not good timing because another new owner was right behind you.  You couldn’t read his face but it seemed he appreciated you direct approach and reprimanded the offender on the spot.  But that was in the morning now it is a very late day PLUS a meeting with the new owners, hopefully your pay grade will go up enough to finally get that house you’ve been dreaming about.  This would be the perfect way to let go of all the mounting stress. Without taking 4 seconds to say a little prayer, you walk in to the office.  The new owners didn’t try to sugar coat it; they just said they weren’t going to pick up your contract.   And to make matters worse, you were escorted off the property; how humiliating.   You get to your car and realize you keys are on your desk. So you turn around and drag yourself back to the office but, security won’t let you in.  You have to ask them to get your keys.  They bring them back to you but they look at you as if you were a crook. Now you are fuming.  Being treated like a criminal.  Embarrassment has morphed into a strange type of oblivious rage.  The type of rage that could have been erased had you took that time to pray.  You get in your car and you are going to get back at everyone by not giving anything up on the way home.  You look in your mirror and see two cars coming up behind you so; you drive 35 mph on a 45 mph road.  There! You are not going to let them push you and have to stay behind you.  Getting even did quiet the rage; in fact it focused your anger.  The last car seems to be really peeved.  He is blowing his horn and flashing his lights.  “How do you like it now?”  You are taking delight by bugging other people.   It doesn’t quiet the rage you feel.  The last car back is making a move.  Hell, no!  You are not going to let that blanket blank take the lead from you.  You accelerate.

 

Now one final example, I’ll show you how a highly stressed individual remains peaceful simply by being grounded in prayer; and no he isn’t a “Bible Thumper”.

 

The day started out like any other day.  Nothing unusual about it until he went to the ATM in the lobby of his office.  The machine said me didn’t have any funds available.  Strange, his paycheck should have been deposited and if it hasn’t he knew there was in excess of $1,000.00. He starts to get angry but instead he says a little prayer. “

Lord, you are Holy above all others, and all of the strength that I need is in your hands.” 

Better. This must obviously be just a computer error.  He would check again at lunch.  The morning work day was unusually busy with more reports given to him to analyze and put into a graph.  To top it all off, his phone was ringing constantly. There were several times he said a little prayer during the morning of stress.

“I am not asking, Lord, that you take this trial away. Instead, I simply ask that Your will be done in my life. Whatever that means, that is what I want.”

Each time he had the strength to cope.  At last, it was lunch time.  He had to stop again at the ATM and get some cash for lunch.  What is this? Still insufficient funds!  OK he has had it now!  He has stormed back to his office to call his bank and give them hell.  He gets back to his desk that now has 10 more reports in his IN box.  He only was gone for a couple of minutes.  Now the bank is going to hear it.  Before he picks up the phone, he takes a deep breath then recites to himself the “Serenity Prayer”: 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

There now, much better.  He is cool, calm, and collected.  He is now ready to work with the bank to solve this problem with his account.  He calls his bank and they tell him that he had booked a flight to Hamburg Germany, bought $2700.00 in an online woman’s clothing store and $600.00 set of matching suitcases from one of those TV stores; and this was all since 3:00 am this morning.  Before that, his account had been drained.  It would appear that his identity had been stolen.  This was confirmed when he called his credit cards.  They are all maxed out and someone had even applied for several other cards.  Well there is a mountain of calls, forms to report his identity stolen, supply these police forms to the banks, cancel all credit cards that were his and cancel the other cards that he didn’t apply for and file a copy of the police report to prove he has reported this to the police.  What a way to spend a lunch time and beyond.  His afternoon was surely going to be long and fraught with trying moments.  More than once he has taken a deep breath and say a quiet prayer:

 “Keep me from sinning during this trial. Instead, help me to keep my eyes on you. You are the Holy Lord, and all of my hope rests in you.”  

The calls and police reports have taken most of the afternoon and it won’t end at this point, it will take years to straighten this out.  His office is closing but he has to stay after to catch up the files he couldn’t get to. Another deep breath, and a prayer and he dove right in.  A couple of times he had to say a prayer to keep him safe in God’s warmth.  Finally he is now on his way home.  He notices his gas tank is running low.  Great the new bank accounts won’t be set up until they get the police records in hand.  The rage at the string of hard issues he has had to deal with is about to boil over.  Another prayer to God; 

“Sometimes I feel like I can’t go on. The pain and the fear are too much for me, and I know that I don’t have the strength on my own to get through this. Please, Lord, give me the strength. ”

 With his mind clear he remembers he throws his loose change into the ashtray. He has $4.00 in quarters and 3 dimes, 1 nickel, and 2 pennies in his car.  Well that will have to do.  He puts $4.27 of gas in his tank.  A deep breath and he is on his way.  He filed in behind a guy doing 35 in a 40 mph zone.  He didn’t care if it took a little longer to get home.  Driving had always had a calming effect.  Shortly a car appears and is right up on his bumper, blowing his horn and flashing his lights.  What’s up with this other guy?  Can’t he see that he is behind the car that is doing 35mph? There is no place to turn out.  What is this guy’s problem?  OOPS, feeling angry, another deep breath and the other guy no longer gets under his skin.  He remembers that just ahead there is a stretch of road that affords a great chance for him to pass. He takes another long breath then a sigh.  The drive seems to be melting away the trials of his day.   At long last they are now on the stretch of road that allows one car to pass another.  Our driver slows a bit so the angry guy behind can pass him easier.  The angry guy was in no hurry to pass. The angry man lingered beside him and offer up a hand gesture and yelling something at him.  He is unfazed because he has put his day into proper prospection.  The other guy has passed but it looks as if the guy in front is speeding up.  Now it seems that they are yelling at each other and exchanging the same hand gestures. Our guy decides to fall even further back.  The two cars ahead have rounded a slight corner and out of sight.  We find ourselves now at the end of our first story about car A, car B, and car C that ended with  A and C crashing into a semi, all because they were unable to release their rage.  The calm man was able to manage his stress so much better and probably saved his life.  Stress can be very difficult for us to manage on our own. One of the things we can do to manage stress is to say a simple prayer to ask God to help us get through those times when parents, friends, exams, and more are making us stressed out.  The prayer doesn’t need to be flowery and complicated.  The prayers said by our calm man were simple and direct.

 

Not all rages end up in cars.  Sadly rage ends up on the road that is life.  It can end up in the one place you should be free of rage, at home.  Carried out by those who should protect you, hated by those who should love you, resented by those who should lift you up, and beaten down by those who should encourage you.  Domestic violence is on the rise in America with no clear answers how to stop the violence.  If it were only as easy as to say a quick prayer so you wouldn’t beat the wife or a deep breath and a thought of God to keep from throwing the baby to the floor.  Since there is no way to make the offender aware of the offence before they hurt their intended.  We often wonder why the hurt ones don’t just leave.  In most cases they can’t; no money, feeling worthless, feeling embarrassed, and telling themselves he/she will change.

 

Rage in the workplace is not uncommon.  We all have heard the phrase “going postal”.  Imagine you are at your desk, busy with the day when you hear gunshots and screaming.  A former employee, feeling wronged, decides to get even with the bosses and takes revenge on their former work-mates.  Just another lead story for the evening news.

 

Rage even has found its way in to the halls of learning.  Shots ring out during classes and focus on killing innocent children.  One of the places we should feel safe leaving our children and the rage of another can shatter our trust.  Seldom is their focus on schools known but the results are horrifyingly clear.

 

We are not free from the rage of others when we are a night out enjoying a movie, participating in road races, or studying in the open air mall of a college campus.  What is going on with the world that rage finds us everywhere and on an ever increasing frequency?  What is the cause and why do I include this in a piece about “Road Rage”?  Like the song says, “Life Is a Highway”.

 

It certainly seems to me that the further humanity wanders away from God, the closer evil comes to fill the void.  We need to go out in to the world and turn up the lamp of God.  We don’t have to go door to door handing out Bible Tracks (although couldn’t hurt).  We need to live by example.  The light in our eyes can light a flame in others.   Matthew 5:16 - Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

 

 

A man was being tailgated by a woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

 

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection with him.  As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

 

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her, in handcuffs, to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

 

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' window sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

 

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

 

Road Rage top 10

 

Number 10.  Using your bad driving as a crutch

 

Number  9.  Don’t anger your dentist

 

Number  8. Damaging the bottom of his car, that will show him

 

Number 7. We pride ourselves on our speedy deliveries….in your face

 

Number 6. I just can’t let you go!

 

Number 5. Sure they make you late for work, but do you need to attack their genitalia?

 

Number 4. Shoving matches end in running overage

 

Number 3. Cop pulls you over;… you pull over… on his car

 

Number 2. The only good thing about NASCAR

 

And number 1.…. Amish road rage

 

From Newser – An 11-year-old is suing her father after he was shot in a road-rage clash—while she was in the car. At issue: Dad gave another man the finger after the man cut him off while driving. That “escalated the situation” and ultimately led to the four shots being fired at the vehicle, says the daughter’s lawyer. “He cannot provoke other drivers, especially when he has his kid in the car.” The incident left the dad with brain damage and a large scar; the daughter was physically unhurt, but she hasn’t been the same since, says her mother.

 

The once-outgoing girl “went into a shell,” her mother tells ABC News. The man who fired the gun—a schizophrenic ex-Marine—isn’t named in the suit at all, and the dad’s lawyer says his daughter is targeting the wrong guy. The shooter “is the proximate cause of her alleged emotional distress, not her own father,” the lawyer says. The lawsuit doesn’t accuse the dad of bad driving or parenting, however. Instead, aims at his insurance company, calling on the firm to cover the daughter’s therapy costs.

Thank you, Lord, for being there for me and allowing me to cry out to you in my times of need.

It is amazing to me that the Lord of the Universe would take time to listen to me and to care about what I say.

God, there are things happening around me right now that I do not understand. Some of these things make me feel weak, helpless and afraid.

Even in the midst of this, I know that you are the Lord.

I know that the situation is in Your hand, and I trust You. I beseech you for strength and for wisdom that I would be able to endure this situation and be able to handle it in a way that would bring glory to Your name.

In Jesus name. Amen.