Married For the Long Haul
Before we get started let us pray:
Loving heavenly Father we come to you this hour asking for your
blessing and help as we are gathered together. We pray for guidance in the
matters at hand and ask that you would clearly show us how to conduct our work
with a spirit of joy and enthusiasm. Give us the desire to find ways to excel
in our work. Help us to work together and encourage each other to excellence.
We ask that we would challenge each other to reach higher and farther to be the
best we can be. We ask this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen
Today we attempt to answer the question if DIVORCE is ever acceptable
to God. Is there ever a reason to
divorce and what are the reasons?
v I was once married.
In 1983 the secular courts divorced us.
I never remarried because I had taken an oath to God that I would marry
only once. I took my pledge to God
seriously and did not consider myself as divorced in the eyes of the Lord but I
do consider myself divorced in the eyes of man.
God would have granted me to marry again because my wife has married
another man, thus guilty of adultery.
Ø
Matt 5:32; 19:9
Ø
You can get a
court to call you divorced, you can call yourself divorced, but in God’s eyes a
couple is only truly “unbound” by two things: death or adultery. Consequently,
if a “divorced” person gets remarried, the Bible calls that adultery.
v “Marriage is not a human invention, it is the creation
of God; it did not originate in the mind of man, but in the mind of God. This
being the case, man cannot change the definition or purpose of marriage to suit
him. The redefinition of marriage is the negation of marriage.”
v Your wedding vows included some version of this pledge
made to your partner and God: Minister:
(First to the groom then to bride) “wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded
wife, to live together after God’s
ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort
her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking others, keep
thee only unto her, so long as you both shall live?” After which you all said “I do.”
v Soon after the ceremony, the pledge made to God is
forgotten. What remains is the secular definition
marriage and they are bound to, legality.
There are more reasons people use to divorce than to stay together. Some of the reasons are bored, no longer in
love, drifted apart, etc. In addition,
the Bible’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, while encouraging marriage mates to
stay together, allow for separation. Some, after trying very hard to preserve
their marriage, feel they have no choice but to separate. What can be
acceptable Scriptural grounds for such a step?
v One is willful nonsupport. When getting
married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and
children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of
life “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1
Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible.
v Another is willful nonsupport, emphasis on willful. When getting
married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and
children. The man who willfully
fails to provide the material necessities of life “has disowned the faith and
is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is
possible.
v Another is
extreme physical abuse. So then, if a mate physically abuses his wife, the
victim may separate. (Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7)
v Another ground for separation is the absolute
endangerment of a believer’s spirituality, one’s relationship with God. When a
mate’s opposition, perhaps including physical restraint, has made it impossible
to pursue true worship and has imperiled the believer’s spirituality, then some
believers have found it necessary to separate. Matthew 22:37; Acts 5:27-32.
v However, if
divorce is pursued under such circumstances, one would not be free to enter a
new marriage. According to the Bible, the only legitimate ground for divorce
that permits remarriage is adultery or “fornication.” Matthew 5:32.
v The Bible
allows only one reason for getting a divorce that frees a person to remarry,
and that is fornication, gross sexual immorality). If fornication is committed
(extra marital sex), then the innocent mate may decide whether to get a divorce
or not. Matthew 5:32.
v After telling
the Pharisees that the Mosaic concession of divorcing their wives was not the
arrangement that had prevailed “from the beginning,” Jesus said: “I say to you
that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and
marries another has committed adultery.”
v “It is clear that divorce is like a person cutting off
an arm or leg because he has a splinter in it. Instead of dealing with whatever
trouble arises between a husband and wife, divorce tries to solve the problem
by destroying the union. On a deeper level, divorce destroys a union that God
Himself has made. That is why Jesus said unequivocally, “What therefore God has
joined together let no man separate” (Matt.
19: 6). The union of marriage is one which God, as its Creator, never
desires to be broken. Divorce is a denial of His will and a destruction of His work.
Ø
‘To paraphrase
(Jer. 16: 12; Luke. 12: 1; Rom. 12: 18; 14: 19; 1 Cor. 7: 12-16; Ephesians. 4:
3; 6: 4; 1; 1 Tim. 4: 12; Heb. 12: 25.
Ø
It is not good
for the children to have to live in a home with so much conflict, hatred, and
disharmony’).
v Many divorcing Christians use these passages to
justify that it is better for the children of an unhappy couple to divorce than
to raise their children in the atmosphere of an unhappy marriage.
v “In hard, cold reality, a person rarely seeks divorce
for the well-being of the children. What is distressing about this myth is not
so much the fallacy of it as its blatant hypocrisy. If people were really
concerned for the well-being of their children, I would think they would move
heaven and earth to transcend their false dilemma and move in the direction of
responsible parenthood. With the use of this myth as a justification for
divorce, humankind exposes its capacity for calling good evil and evil good.
Here an act of selfishness is painted or portrayed as a noble act of
self-sacrifice for the good of the children.”
v “Marriage is not a mere civil thing, but is partly
spiritual and divine, and therefore God alone has the power to appoint the
beginning, the continuance, and the end thereof.”
v “In every marriage that ends in disaster, some stupid
decisions were made with respect to God’s regulations. If God’s regulations
were followed diligently, thoroughly, and extremely attentive to details, not
only would there be no divorces; there would be no unhappy marriages. To
violate the regulations of God is not only an exercise in disobedience but also
an exercise in foolishness. If you want a happy marriage, the most intelligent
thing you can do is to submit to God’s regulations. They are designed to
promote and protect your full happiness.”
§ Luke 16: 18
Ø
“For example, a
man who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery. And anyone
who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
Ø
I can’t stress
this enough! Extra marital sex. Not
irreconcilable differences, grew apart, no longer in love. These are not anything that God would view as
reasons for divorce reasons.
Ø
In many
countries, divorce is not difficult to obtain, but in the eyes of a Christian,
the marriage relationship is sacred. It is ended only for a very serious
reason. (Matt. 19:9) Christian spouses can avail themselves of wise counsel
from the Bible, support from fellow Christians, and a close, prayerful
relationship with God. A successful marriage endures, and over the years, it
brings happiness and contentment to husband and wife. More important, it brings
honor to God, the Originator of marriage.
v One final thought: The marriage vows; you either already took or will take this vow in the
future something similar:
I,
[bride’s/groom’s name], take thee, [bride’s/groom’s name]to be my wedded
wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till
death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto do I give thee
my pledge.
v Don’t take
these vows lightly. Be sure you can live
up to your vows.
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father as we come to the
end of our time together we thank you for what has been accomplished here
today. May the matters discussed serve as a catalyst to move us forward and
cause us to advance and see growth in all areas of our lives. May we leave here
recognizing You are the God of all wisdom and You are willing to lead us
forward. This we pray in the name of the Lord Jesus. Amen
God Bless
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